Saturday, September 26, 2009

Trainwreck

Part of living with or recovering from a traumatic brain injury (TBI), is the gift of self analysis. While it can often spiral into obsessesively beating yourself over every single mistake or embarrassing moment, it also provides a clear picture of who you were before. The closer I inspect, the deeper I dig, the more cringe-worthy moments I find. That famous "Keep looking for things to be upset over, and you'll keep finding things" is so profoundly succinct. I really was a trainwreck though, actually I think it's more that I was a unmanned free coasting train gaining speed, and now from the wreckage I've emerged anew. Well, if I am truly not my past or not my mistakes; then neither are you. Though I drop all this behind me and will no longer remain a martyr, I really am so sincerely sorry and regretful for all the damage left in my wake. My shoulders slouch with the weight from all that I wish I'd not ever done and/or said, but that serves no one. From now, I'll focus on growth and putting out as much positive and healing into the world as I can.