Lost

I'm lost, looking to men to entertain me rather than taking the time to nourish my soul or do the hard work on myself. I'm tired and just want to enjoy myself for a bit but the universe no longer seems to want to foster this. I have to go back to the pursuit of my goals and my higher self... I'm just soo fucking tired. I know before the stroke I wanted nothing more than to HAVE to do nothing but focus on working on myself, I just didn't imagine that I'd be starting almost from square one again, this time with the knowledge of just how far I'd have to go. I have come an awfully far way though, even just from the beginning of the year; a lot of the credit I must give to my loved ones. They are amazing and foster growth every single day. I am blessed. Just exhausted, deep in my soul exhausted.