Friday, January 7, 2011

all that I am...

I am not a victim, a fuck-up, a warrior or an inspiration. I am not a liar, paragon of strength, or beacon of hope. I am not the best example of what not to do, nor am I amazing. I am not a cautionary tale, or a model for resiliency. I am not a one dimensional set of characteristics you try to pigeon hold me to. I am what I am, and that's all that I am. I do my best and strive for recovery in every moment; I fight the loneliness, exhaustion, despair and stagnancy all the time. I give as much back as I can, I pay it forward every chance I see and all I want is to no longer be judged. Negative or positive it doesn't matter, I'm all those things and none of them at all. I just want to fly under the radar for a while and not be asked to explain myself to anyone who pretends to care.