Tuesday, February 1, 2011

circumstance

Circumstance forces me to slow, take it all down a notch or so... Such a blessing. Instead of flitting from one moment to the next attempting to pack as much in as possible, I'm gratefully forced to sit back, enjoy and create quality memories rather than a blurry obnoxious montage.  Although if I'm being completely honest I'm still lovably obnoxious more often than not. I'm just a slower moving handful heehee.
I used to bounce almost literally, through life as if it was one long drunken night bar hopping.  Never staying too long in any one place, moment, mood, high; never saying too much or getting too immersed or invested in anything.  But now I am made into as much of a wall flower that my personality will ever allow me to be.  I may have to sit in one place primarily, but I in no way know how to fade into the background.  Of that I am forever proud, and grateful to have gained that much back.
Even more than that I am grateful for the change of pace, my quality of interaction, observation and connection to my surroundings and people in my life has increased exponentially.  I no longer have to be everywhere at once and everything to everyone in my immediate vicinity, just me is enough.  At the most basic level when we go out now I tend to stay where parked and cause a bonafide Chis disturbance ;) in my little splice of the universe.  It's a great thing.