Tuesday, November 24, 2009

loved...

I have what I'd been yearning for, in a package I'd never expected. I have had almost a week without my efexor (anti-depressant) an unfortunate timing accident with my pharmacy and literally reached BAT SHIT CRAZY. Knowing I was being insane, but without any tools to control it, couldn't do a damn thing but try to ride it all out; which was terrifying enough to cause panick attacks.... Whhhaaa I know... gimmie a chance... it was just what I've been needing; to have someone, a love to hold me (physicaly at times and metaphorically) because he wanted/ needed to make what he could, better. Not out of pity, but simply because he loves- me in particular. No judgement, just taking care, with a empathy and gentle touch I'd always run from. Who would've thought that opening up to the right guy ang exposing your vulnerability to someone who loves YOU; not the way you make them feel about themselves, not the way they feel when they're with you;but you just for you; beautiful, damaged,and scary at times. I'm loved by soneone who enjoys my need to unleash all the love I feel for him, and recipriocates in turn without smothering. It's miraculous with just enough gritty to make it the real deal, a game changer. Thank you, my fight does not seem so daungting; to face life while fighting for it seems like an amazing blessed phase of my journey now having completed my support system (fambam and TRUE friends). I was always gratefu, just not so overwhelmed now. The moral of the story? Let people help. No matter how hard it is for you,let people help. No matter how terrifying it is for you, let people help. No matter if you're worried they'll get tired of doing so, let people help. Please try, it's just what you need no matter how unsettling it may feel, it's what you need. Everyove needs help with something; so help and allow yourself to accept help offered freely and with love or respect.