Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Bamboozled

Every new adjustment we need to implement, devices I need to start using again, all feel like failure.  I know it's not; and miraculously the love of my life knows it's not as well.  I however find myself deeply panicked... I told him I was going to get better, I do not have it in me to quit and I'll fight for 110% EVERYDAY, until my last moment, but am I being unfair to the man that loves me but signed up for a progressing partner?  He tells me that I'm the only one that has a problem with the things I cannot do again (yet), but I can't ignore the fact that since we've been together my mobility has decreased.  The way I was pushing my body would have caused it regardless, but miraculously I have someone willing, more, wanting to be the one who helps me do what I cannot yet.  There are soooooooo many not as fortunate as I find myself, I am more grateful and appreciative than you'll ever know but I need to regain my forward momentum so he can have the love he deserves as well.  I fear my love may have been accidentally bamboozled.