Thursday, October 1, 2009

Endurance

Plum tuckered after a wonderful afternoon catching up with some quality (really close) friends, trying not get disappointed that I couldn't even last till the end of the game. What's worse is that my amazing love @jpeuker made a special trip to bring me home, help me get settled, assured me that he's happy to be the one who sees this, who I show all that I am, think and feel. It's a comfort I never knew I needed, so now I'm going to research how to quickly regain the ability to filter out unnecessary distractions, with an ultimate goal of putting together a plan of action to regain control over my mental endurance. However this is a long month of #brainfog #overstimulation #chronic pain #insurance referral issues and most devastating, the passing of my beloved AuntyP... So this shot, this picture is not a cry out for help or fishing for compliments, I promised to document all aspects of my recovery process; the triumphant, bad, and pathetically burnt out. I can't even really keep myself on topic as I write this, hopefully I won't need to edit too much later on. When you have survived a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) one of the first things you notice is just how much you used to subconsciously filter out 90% of distracting things going on around you so you don't go crazy with all that inundated stimulation coming at you in every possible direction.  It in all seriousness, feels like a full on attack.  Best part is that overstimulation exacerbates #brainfog #mushybrain #spasticity #neuropathy and any other #chronicpain.  This is a bitter sweet moment caught here, I'm grateful that I got some much needed time with some of my faves, but try as I might, I still had to have my love bring me home early. Learning to listen to my body, but how long until it's unfair for those that love me and are putting in more effort than I can....I'm always doing my best to keep in touch as often as possible. I'm just scared that you all will have gotten sick of the lopsided scale. But if you can, please try to remember that I love and care for you, and am honestly doing the best I can. As the pic shows I'm exhausted. Love you, have sweet dreams loves! #longdaysmakemybrainfuzzy