the point?

I know it's not my job to understand or justify Gods plan for me but I for the life of me CANNOT see the FUCKING POINT in having me learn to sit up, speak to be understood and walk again if the work to get it back actually takes the skill away again? Haha guess the joke's on me. I know how to keep everything in perspective when the cause and effect make sense; but I do not know how to be this person. This woman back in her wheelchair for Lord knows how long, and dirty truth, cannot really navigate a productive day completely on her own yet. Yeah yeah yeah it's just a bad day, things will get better once your MRIs are done, once you start the TBI program, look at the upside... TRUST I GET IT. I'm doing my best, I just don't look into the mirror and see anything familiar anymore. Besides my friends and family, besides my love and two fur babies I can no longer find anything I like when I look in the mirror.