Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Ohhhh...

I think I finally figured out why I get so bent out of shape every time a new acquaintance is COMPLETELY shocked and utterly amazed by the fact that Josh and I not only met but fell in love two years into my stroke recovery... The strongest reactions always come from other men. They seem astonished, appalled or stunned; eventually coming to "That's a GREEAAT man you have." With the bewildered head shake. (Don't get me wrong I KNOW I'm THE LUCKIEST bitch on the planet.  I pray with gratitude in my heart multiple times daily for our love alone) What I take away from this -and the fact that this is always the reaction I get- is that they don't believe that they nor any of the men they currently know would have ever considered a relationship with someone like me even an option.  Maybe I interpret it that way because that's what I believed before, and somewhere deep it's still terrifying me.  The thought that (knock on wood) if anything should happen between my incredible Josh and I, that'd be it... No more chances at reciprocated love, I mean after all I couldn't find that pre-stroke, what are the odds it would happen twice post stroke?

Then I realized that all of the people making the daily difference, the ones actively participating in my life and have me as a part of theirs are nearly all people I have bonded with after I had my stroke.  You have something valuable, that's why you're still here, people are out there that love you, miss you and want to be a part of your journey... Stay strong, they will find you.
#caregiver #blessed #heseesme #hesmymiracle #perfectforme #loveafterstroke #lifeafterstroke #lovehasnolabels #lovehasnocolor #lovehasnorace #lovehasnodisability #iaminlove