Choosing Wisely

It's only taken 6 years but I'm finally starting to be able to take the days off I need (whether or not that means cancelling plans) without torturing myself, or mentally beating myself up for it. I know some of that is Josh and my loved ones supporting me and loving me so well, but think the other part is the ability to keep up with our new place. It gives me back so much confidence. I love being able to give my family a clean place to relax everyday.

Another for today.

Choosing Wisely

It's only taken 6 years but I'm finally starting to be able to take the days off I need (whether or not that means cancelling plans) without torturing myself, or mentally beating myself up for it. I know some of that is Josh and my loved ones supporting me and loving me so well, but think the other part is the ability to keep up with our new place. It gives me back so much confidence. I love being able to give my family a clean place to relax everyday.

Another Big Step

Thanks to a persistent buddy who never fails to push me when I have no energy to do it myself; I have taken another great step forward. After being cleared by my neurologist, I went to the DMV to get my learners permit. This is the first time I've been behind the wheel since having my license revoked due to seizure activity. I'm feeling a bit anxious for my road test on August 1st and what that means for me going forward. How will this change the outings with my friends? Will there now be pressure to get a vehicle I cannot afford? Am I the only TBI or stroke survivor that finds it hard to resist any kind of peer pressure now? I find it frustrating, embarrassing and unacceptable. Back to the topic at hand though, I cannot believe how fast life is still progressing for me. Everything looks COMPLETELY different than it did seven months ago, myself included. There is still that one battle that I still can't quite get a handle on... my weight. But that's a post for another day. We are going to keep this one upbeat, yay for progress!

hrmmm...

Am I listening to myself or just sitting on my ass? Am I allowing my brain to recoup or wallowing in stagnancy? I'm not sure if I'm allowing myself to process my stressors or just being plain lazy. So far today all I've managed to do is order food, make a couple of calls and...this. Yesterday was good and productive and the day before I was at my boyfriends, so in retrospect I'm not doing all that badly. If you don't count all the shit I didn't get done today lol.

Confidence frees you

Now that I've had over a month, in our new place being be able to keep it clean and keep after it I now have the confidence to learn my speech to text program and start my book… I didn't know what I was lacking was confidence. Confidence can help you reach your dreams take you anywhere you've dreamed of going, and the lack of it can cause stagnancy, depression and worse. What we need to remember, is that confidence is just like lipstick, like putting on pants all you have to do is put it on and the more you wear it the more comfortable it becomes; the more natural becomes to you, the more the confidence emboldens you. Don't forget that just because you don't feel confident doesn't mean you can't be, it doesn't mean that you can't reach her dreams while still finding your confidence… The universe appreciates the effort. This was my first post using the Dragon speech to text program. I love this program, I really believe it's couldn't frame me to be able to be my authentic self as I tell my story… The raw, the real, the inspiring, and the disgusting. I'm so grateful, so blessed, my heart is full and now all I must do is find a way to make my as a real physical recovery have the same breakthrough.

Okay

I had another appointment with my psychologist and was talking to her about all the great things happening. Everything is going phenomenally and I should still be happier than I've ever been. Things are just continually getting better; only I don't feel it anymore. I'm content but not HAPPY like I was or thought I should be. She went on to explain that big changes positive or negative are stressors. More over, I'm probably just starting to really process all that is going on. She led me to finally understand that maybe I just need to try to be okay with where I am and how I feel right now; that I shouldn't put more pressure on myself trying to be or connect with certain emotions just because I think I should. So that's what I'm passing on to you today; feel however you feel. Stop trying to put on the face of what you think you should be or how you think you should be feeling. Every emotion is valid, work your way through them for actual progress.