Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Not so sure

I'm not soooooooo sure where this posting will be going tonight... It's 4:23 and I can't sleep.  Again.  My meds have been adjusted and I'm going harder on my workouts so I should be out like my man here; all in all though this is my most pressing agitation so I see no reason to complain. 
My insurance is getting to the final switchover, I'll be on my way to my permanent team of physicians and specialists, and then back on track for my physical, occupational and speech therapies.  My bills get paid on time, and there is money for food and toiletries left over.  I live with two people who care far more about me than I ever thought I deserved.  My family is proud of me and continuing to be more and more proud of me as progress is made.  My friends are supportive, encouraging, respectful and empathetic.  I have an amazing foundation laid now, it's only up from here! 
I think I needed this all this to happen after such a life changing chain of events, only now can I truly recognize and appreciate all that I am blessed to have, to be, and have the potential to become.  I have the opportunity to be so much more than I was before the stroke, soooooooo much better as a person.  This has been and will be at moments some of the hardest times I've ever faced before, and I am so grateful that I get to come through this and eventually add it to the list of shit that didn't break me.  Things that not everyone could handle with a lightness in their heart and still learn the lessons and absorb all the beauty that comes with pain and hardship and tragedy.