Promises, promises

This is a late update from February 12, 2015... My love has given me a promise ring, YAY with the next sentence being "you know this means I need your Dad and Mom's contact info now right?" Lol, I am beyond blessed and full of gratitude.

Don't need a reason to...

My smile may be crooked now, but it is more frequent then it's ever been, full of love and gratitude, and for anyone who may need one. #happygirl #happinessisachoice #itsallaboutperspective #youchooseyourday #lifeiswhatyoumakeit #lifedoesnotstopforyourstruggle #lifeafterstroke

Be brave

Be brave enough to share the embarrassing, the failings, the frustrations the ugly, the honest... It's these named truths that will help someone else.

Only you...

#TBIaffectedme I remember after my crainiotomy in 2010 my older sister told me that I had a stroke, the doctor drained 200ml of blood from my skull, and because I waited so long I had lost all function and sensation of my left side head to toe, but if I worked quickly and really really hard I may get some of it back.  I responded with "How do I start?" Our doctors and therapists can point us in the right direction, our family, friends and caregivers can assist us with logistics, support, and those obstacles we have yet to reclaim again; but NO ONE can recover for you. No one else can make you better. No one else can tell you how to make new neurological connections so you can move your finger, smile, wiggle toes.  No one can teach you how to deal with the overstimulation, find your left hand again, normalize the sound of your laugh again, unslur your speech, communicate your COMPLETELY DIFFERENT perspective on EVERYTHING. I relearned how to walk, talk effectively, sing and enjoy life again with an army of loving supporters at my side, I met and hooked the love of my life and even with all that help I can confidently say that I saved myself, with help. #happygirl #happinessisachoice #strengthcomesinallforms #strokesurvivor #avmstrokesurvivor #loveafterstroke #lifeiswhatyoumakeit #lifeafterstroke #blessed #beautyinthepain #givingupisnotanoption #begrateful #Kindcampaign #takenothingforgranted #tbiaffectedme #loveafterstroke #lovehasnodisability #lovehasnorace #lovehasnolabels

Paying It Forward...

While being treated at the Sutter Roseville In-patient Rehab facility I was asked if I would be willing to take part in their new ad campaign to help show that stroke or TBI's are not geriatric specific and that they can (and do) treat people of all ages. Most 26 year old women with a shaved head for the first time, trying to find their left side again would not ever allow the public to see them this vulnerable let alone have it documented and used for advertising purposes... I however was gifted this second chance. My social worker at the hospital, neurosurgeon and trauma nurses went to bat for me, advocating for me to be accepted as a charity case...in February. At the beginning of a very long year they fought to have the hundreds of thousands that my crainiotomy and rehab would cost, written off. I had no health insurance which is why I waited so long to go to the hospital in the first place, ultimately making my bleed that much more dangerous and life threatening. How do you payback a miraculous second chance at the life you were barreling through and taking for ganted?... You say yes to the photos, you pay it forward any and every way you can. I found my first photo on their site today... (I'm at the very bottom of the page) http://www.sutterroseville.org/rehab/experience/expect/

Beauty in the pain

I NEED to make a giant print of this... It is true though- it is our scars, our triumphs and our lessons that make us unique. It's all that gives us our true beauty, the ability to live and love more passionately and more freely because of all the hard.

First poem since...

I lie here breathing you in, trying not to disrupt time or the fates... If I can keep this under the radar no one will see the mistake. No one will see that I'm not good enough for you, and that I do not deserve any part of this healthy, nurturing family we've created.